Nightmares
"Rare Magic of Happiness"
by Chaos Boy
As all of my dreams seem to occur, I am simply at a place at once familiar but unknown. A dream locale that I am familiar with. A party at a friend's apartment, or house. The rooms are large, and the hallway I walk down is long. The music is good, the mood light and happy, I am interwoven in the rare mix of strangers , music, drink, and happiness. I am accompanied by a friend who shares a joke with me and we laugh , supporting each other walking to the lavatory. I am feeling rapidly ill, but make no mention to my comrade, I would not break this afternoon's spell. A couple asks if I'm alright as my friend leaves to rejoin the party. The end of the hall I am at is darkened, the daylight coming from the living room at the end opposite. I am a bit anxious for the couple talking in the lav to remove themselves, for my ears are ringing now ever so slightly, and the air has become thick. I tell myself to lay off the drink and feel sweat on my neck as I scratch at an aggravating itch which has abruptly appeared.
My friend reappears and asks if i am unwell, catching the attention of the distracted couple. They move off, and I wholeheartedly thank them as they make quick laughing apologies. No harm done, I smile at them as my associate finds a towel for me. Ahh, blessed cool water. A case of too much drink too early in the day, we laugh, he heads off to entertain. I have a moment of tranuility, a sense of true happiness in realizing my lot in life. The bit of Zen in my day as I am fully in the moment, feeling the vibrancy of the party. I know really none of these partygoers but a handful, at best, yet here we are fully enjoying this revelry.
I close my eyes and let the water run over the back of my head, smiling at the comments I imagine will be made when I reapper with a wet scalp. Splashing the water on my face, the throb at my tamples lessens. The itch at my neck recedes, and I am feeling foolish that I nearly let the combination of a summer afternoon and too much alcohol ruin this all-too-rare magic of happiness. As I stand back up, my heart begins racing, and I feel a rush of pain in my head. I try to slow down my breathing, but to no avail; I cannot stop hyperventilating...
I lean over the sink again, more cold water, calm down!!..calm down...deep breaths...I rub my face, massaging the suddenly tense jaw muscles...alright, better now. Slower breaths, good...I keep my hands in the cool water, pressing them to m face, the coolness calming...this is silly, I'm thinking, what the hell is THIS? I ask myself. My heart kicks in as if I'm running- I look up at myself in the mirror to check my complexion and I know the awful reason as my heart begins beating with a painful, hot throb, o rhythm which begins speeding, building to a climax that will end terribly, and I know I cannot stop it's locomotive cycling drumming as I stare at my own yellow-irised eyes staring terrified back at me...black-outlined irises...
I close my eyes and try to scream as I feel my teeth grinding, hear them grinding, but that is not what they are doing as they crack...I cannot scream over the building rush of heat in my veins or the roar of blood in my ears...and I know...
and jolt awake, horrified and near screaming...this was a dream I had years ago, this is the first time I have written it down, and it has stayed with me this long...
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